John 13:3-5
Jesus knew that the father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God. So he got up from the table, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist and poured water into a basin. Then he began to wash the disciples feet, drying them with the towel he had around him.

Ok. I’ve heard that verse before. I get that in those days the primary means of transportation was by foot. Therefore feet in those days are going to be filthy by the end of the day. I also knew that it was a servants job to wash the feet of their owners.

I can’t stand feet. They give me the heebee jeebees… don’t put your feet on me, near me, or even talk about feet. Only in the past few years have I allowed myself to get a pedicure because I feel so guilty that someone else is touching my feet. In fact I usually pre-pedicure my feet before I get a pedicure so it’s not as gross for the person working with them. I adore my 4 year old’s feet but that’s it. I just did a shaking shimmy now just thinking about feet.

Today’s bible study left me sobbing and speechless…sobbing. We are finishing a study on God’s grace…how we are nothing without it, how it covers us when we are undeserving, how loved and valued we all are as sons and daughters of the king.

I went with an open and willing heart like I always do this morning. There was a guest speaker who was talking about how Jesus washed the disciples feet on the night before his death. She spoke of the enormity of such a simple act. Jesus, our lord and savior was bending down to wash the feet of his disciples to show them that they are clean and made whole again. His act of service was meant to inspire the disciples to do the same, to show them that he cherishes them, and that no act is too small for him, or anyone to do. They were precious to him. Washing their feet was a metaphor for washing away the old and beginning again new, fresh, clean, forgiven, and whole.

So I’m listening to it all thinking wow, I never really thought about this particular act that Jesus did and thanks so much for explaining it to me. Sounds good to me! She didn’t stop there. She proceeded to tell us that our bible study leaders were now going to wash our feet to show us the example Jesus and how he did this for his disciples. We were given markers and told to write on our feet what God was washing away from your life. Wait, what? Scuse me? Did she just say our bible study leaders are now going to wash our feet? She said WHAT????

Feet…my feet…my beautiful new sister in Christ is going to wash my feet? 😳 I couldn’t pull them under me fast enough!!!! Literally! They look awful! I mean TOE UP awful! TOE UP ugly awful! They are bruised, fractured, and the polish has worn off!!!She can’t touch my feet! I’ll wash hers any day of the week but she can’t do this for me. So I started crying. The ugly cry where the makeup comes off in less than 30 seconds and snot is coming out of your nose with no Kleenex in sight…that kind of cry. With shaking hands I took my marker and wrote these words on my feet: pain, doubt, fear, uncertainty, worry, sadness, and old wounds. Horrible handwriting on my horrible looking feet. I was so overcome with emotion that I didn’t even realize the words I was writing.

I cried when it was my turn and took my seat. There she sat on the floor, pouring warm water on my feet and washing away the magic marker. Washing away the mess, like Jesus does with every prayer from me. Holding my rough, unpolished, absolutely hideous feet in her hands and holding them with so much love, care, and compassion.. It was her act of service, from her heart. It was so powerful! I struggled so much just sitting there because I just wanted to hold her….I can’t let her do this! I need to be doing this for HER! But I let her finish. I hugged her and sorry to the person waiting behind me because I could not let her go. We were sobbing together. I could not stop crying. I still can’t stop crying when I think about it.

She washed my feet like Jesus washes my dirty, rough, ugly soul every day. I want to be at his feet doing for him because he’s more than worthy. What he sacrificed for us, for me, for my heart. Here he is doing for me when I need to be doing for him.

To be in a place where you are that vulnerable with the Holy Spirit and a room full of Angels masked as strong Christian women was palatable, powerful, and so humbling. This by far has been my most emotional moment as a Christian. Mom, I know you are smiling from Heaven. I feel it.

Love and belief my beautiful friends❤


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