Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous hand.
‘Do not fear’ is written 365 times in the Bible! Over and over again the reminder is there… in case you missed the other 364 times God has spoken to you telling you to ‘not fear’, he puts it in the Bible one more time just for good measure.
Good thing for me that it’s in there so much because I woke up terrified today. Nothing and everything was scaring me. I am of the philosophy that there are indeed mountains everywhere instead of molehills. A headache is a brain tumor, an infected toe means it will have to be amputated, and when my 4 year old woke up with no appetite I was pretty sure she was going to come down with typhoid fever while we are on vacation. I have no idea what typhoid fever is but I was pretty convinced she was going to contract it.
That was my morning. Gripped in fear. Completely wrapped up in fear…so silly when I write it down but when it takes over it can really take you for a ride you don’t want to be on. I caught myself once again forgetting to give it to God first. He knows us before we know us. He already knew how I woke up today and he was just waiting for me to get out of my own way so he could take over.
My prayer was simple: I’m terrified today God and I don’t want to be. I give you my fears because you conquer everything. Take my heart, take my fears, take it all.
He heard me. We went to lunch at one of our favorite southern restaurants and while I was still pretty terrified and all I wanted to do was go back to where we were staying and hide, my husband found a game place he wanted to check out. I put a smile on my face and went along with it because:
a. He was driving and I had no choice but to go along
b. He was driving and I had no choice but to go along
However, the second we got in the door I saw rock climbing and EVERYTHING changed. There is this one climb called ‘Stairway to Heaven’ (❤ the name) and for some reason I HAD to climb it! We waited our turn and Elizabeth and I got harnessed up and were ready to go. She climbed a wall first and then it was my turn.
The stairway is a series of very small (very small), and did I mention VERY SMALL circle platforms that have no handles which ascend to a top platform more than 29 feet off the ground.
I’m terrified of heights…terrified…I get nervous if im on a step ladder at home! But today something kicked in and I was determined to do the stairway.
The first few steps were ok. Then the higher up I went the more difficult it became. It got to a point where all you could do was put one foot in front of the other and not use your hands. You are relying on your feet and your sense of balance to get you to the top.
Falling today was not an option. Fear was not an option. Not making it to the top was ABSOLUTELY not an option either! My husband, my girls, and my in-laws were all there watching me but all I could think about was that this was God telling me ‘do not fear’! As crazy at it sounds…I wasn’t afraid! It was all God! He balanced me and gave me guided, safe steps.
He balanced me and gave me guided, safe steps. I had to repeat that because it’s SO powerful! I absolutely love how God SHOWS me every day how much I can trust him when I give him my prayers, my doubts, my fears…my everything!
Craig asked me when I got down if I was afraid. I didn’t quite know how to answer him. It was every feeling you could have and then some. It also was God showing me by example. The realization that I saw his hand showing me was absolutely incredible! Thankful once again for a God who knows how to reach my heart and quiet my fears.